Tuesday, 08 July 2008

• Broken beyond repair..

  Me and Ryan were together for 8 months. Those were the best 8 months of my life. Although were both only 16, we were crazy in love. I thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. He meant everything to me. Then just a few weeks ago, I found out that he pretty much had a one night stand with another girl (he had sex with her). I was crushed, and still am. It felt like my whole world just fell out from underneath me. How could he do this to me? He said he loved me, he promised he'd never hurt me. And in a small amount of time he ripped my heart to shreds and threw away everything that we built together. I gave him all of me, except one thing. I guess that wasn't good enough so he had to go get it from another girl that he knew he could get easily. He apologized, said that he never meant for it to happen, he claimed that he didn't know what he was doing. He's cried, he's begged, he's done everything he can to try and get me back. But how could I ever trust him after all of this? I know he is hurting too, and that he regrets what he did. But he has no idea how much he messed me up. I've been a wreck the past few weeks. I miss him more then anything, and I still love him. How messed up is that? How can I still love him after what he did to me? I just want to hate him so bad but I can't. We still try talking as friends, but it always ends up leading to a fight or a conversation about "us." I need to try to move on and let go..but its just so hard. I've never been in this much pain in my life. Life without him is just so difficult. I still care about him and worry about him. He says I'm his only reason to live, and that he loves me more then anything. But if thats true then why would he do something like this to me??

  • 11:23 PM
  • 89 Views
  • 2 eProps
  • 1 Comment